loving life in a long term relationship

Everyone is unique, different and quirky in their own way. It is a bizarre biological need to choose a person through no real reasoning and say “yep, you’re my chosen one, I choose you to spend my life with.” For me though it never quite came to light like that. Meeting someone at seventeen I never imagined it would be forever. I had my whole life ahead of me, experiences and encounters to explore because who knew what I wanted from my life partner. But as the months rolled into years we found ourselves together a decade later. A decade wow that sounds an awfully long time doesn’t it?! 

A decade really is a long time and especially through your twenties. You have the perceptions and expectations of what society states you should explore and yet I found myself in total all encompassing comfort with the support. I can hand on heart say I wouldn’t be the person I am today without being in this relationship. They say it changes you, but that doesn’t necessarily have to mean in a bad way. Being with someone who is right for you is euphoric. Like the trust exercise they catch you when you fall, heal your wounds, give you a short, sharp shove in the right direction and most importantly cheer you on from the sidelines. They are there when you need them most and they give you the freedom to fly high when necessary. I imagine us as two vines that twist and curl harmoniously supporting each other so neither falls. 

When I look back I had zero confidence. The thought of even writing something like this would send me into a cold sweat. I didn’t want to stand out, I wanted to be just like the flock and follow the herd. For me, growing with someone by your side meant whatever I did someone would have my back. They would support me no matter how daft or outrageous my ideas were, whatever idiotic or outlandish move I made and most importantly let me slide off the curve of what everyone else was doing because I knew my buddy was always there. 

He gave me the freedom to choose whatever college or university no matter where it was in the UK and stood by me through thick and thin. My sense of independence grew with my confidence but that’s the push and pull of growing towards the light. ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ they say, well how about living apart and the stresses of uni. Yes, we fell out spectacularly and at times I thought my world would end, but somehow together I felt stronger and everything was better. As the years have rolled by the trials and tribulations no longer revolve around our history and past life but the now. It can be hard, nothing worth having comes easily. Life throws some big ass curve balls your way whether they are small marbles that feel like a bullet or a boulder that flattens you there is someone there to turn to peel you off the floor or tend to your wounds. 

Years down the line, over a decade to be exact, it’s easy to lose sight of this love and support. It takes next to nothing for the vine to break apart to wilt or die and it’s exactly why I am writing this. I want to appreciate every delicious mouthful of serenity and love which I share in the hopes someone out there does too. Take time to step back, be grateful and speak honestly. Indulge in the pleasure of a comforting warm hug encompassing your every being so filled with love you skin prickles to the feeling, feel the breath on the back your neck as you drift off into the subconscious each evening as the last thing you do and when you return in the morning light they are there as the first welcome into reality. It’s the enjoyment of sharing a TV series and holding off on the latest episode until you’re both free to watch together or the moments when you know to give each other space to breath and grow just like the earlier days. The psychic connection where you swear you can read their thoughts and when you realise your life doesn’t revolve around you but the unit you’ve built as a couple without even trying to or realising. It’s because of all this the journey from then until now that makes me love life in a long term relationship but not just because it’s long term but because it is with you. Here is to the next decade and many more to come.

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