I have to admit that the last half of this year has been probably the most difficult and challenging time of my life. Not everyone will know this as I tried each day to put the smile on my face not just for me but for my family, to support them and laugh through the pain. I understand now the heartbreak others have felt and feel naive to think it is just me who has ever felt like this. I started this blog a sort of rosy outlook to show my great experiences, travels and adventures but there is the other side behind the rose tinted glasses. I wanted to write this post to show that behind the smiles and pictures me and my family battled something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and it all came to a sad end less than 2 weeks before christmas. We celebrated your life and raised a glass in your honour despite the aching in our hearts not a tear was shed. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about our memories together and I would give absolutely anything to spend just 5 more minutes with you. I know you are in no pain and you couldn’t carry on without your freedom. Now you have been released I can see you in the stars, the sun, the birds that sing, the bubbles in my prosecco, the lilies that bloom and the footsteps I will take in your honour. You will live through me and those who you touched with your beautiful soul and boy there were so many people who loved you. If I can ever become a fraction of the person you are I will be happy but for now I will try my hardest to make you proud.