This post is hard to write, it is something I am not particularly open about but I feel I am at a point in my life where I have overcome some difficult times and it has made me really appreciate the love and support of my close friends and family, without them I wouldn’t be writing this.
Let’s be honest, life is a bit shit sometimes and sometimes it’s even more than a bit shit, it’s so overwhelmingly hard that you feel like giving up and crawling under the duvet for weeks at a time. I did that. I got so low that I didn’t get out of bed, eat, sleep or wash. I am not proud of it and it didn’t make me feel any better. Do you know what did? I told someone. I told someone I felt so god damn awful and that I felt like the whole world was against me. I would find the smallest things difficult like stepping out of my room or bumping into someone I knew. I wanted to be alone with my consuming thoughts because I thought it was normal…well it’s not.
The first step is to understand that you don’t have to live like that, you shouldn’t have to feel that way and you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s lucky that these days the public and media are more open about this subject but even just a few years ago I felt so alone that I thought I was the only person in the whole universe who wasn’t coping. So I guess I am writing this to help anyone else out there who has ever felt this way. I know there are lots of you. When I first started being more open about the battles with my inner demons I realised that it wasn’t just me, other people I knew had been through exactly the same rollercoaster of emotions, they felt those lows and came out better. Their perfect personas were just that, a persona and I got to understand that we all have a front and that behind it all it’s ok to be vulnerable because we have the facilities to ensure it is controlled. Whether it is anxiety or depression, or both just taking that first step and opening up takes a huge weight off your shoulders. Trust me.
If you need any advice or support then there are loads of sources like these, for me I went to the doctors. They won’t judge you or turn you away, mental health is equally as important as your physical health.