faker?

Do you ever get the feeling you’re a big fat phoney? I hope it isn’t just me. I don’t know if it’s being in this creative industry or if its the pressures of modern life in general, but sometimes I become so overwhelmed with thoughts that I am not good enough its actually unbearable.

I have been an achiever my whole life, the top grades, the sportiness, the fashion and when it came to my career I was no different but now I am stuck in limbo. Without a job I find myself filled with fear that I am stale and lack behind the more recent graduates of this day and age. I stress in the nights that I know little about coding or motion that it effects my day to day life. Sometimes I contemplate whether I made the right choice of going into the industry couldn’t I have chosen an easier life where my skills would just grow with my experience and I wouldn’t have some young recruit snapping at my heels? I worry that there is a time limit in my field and that the older I become the less likely I am to succeed.

I need to think more positively and start believing in myself otherwise I will end up in a downwards spiral…but you know sometimes I have this give up attitude, wouldn’t it just be easier to do something else? Yeah yeah, I know I’m being a Debbie downer so to cheer myself up and you lovely people out there I have found some lovely mood lifting graphics so I can whack one up as my screen saver to give me a boost.

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