a crisis of confidence

I thought being jobless would be the worst of it right now but in reality, it was the fear of rejection. I have only been rejected a handful of times, enough to count on one hand I think but now it seems to be coming left, right and centre. I thought I was prepared for this, but I guess not. In my head I imagined my skills would shine themselves and it would take minimal effort. This saturated market of creatives has left me feeling mediocre, I didn’t realise to what extent I needed to sell myself in order to compete in the job market.

Am I stuck up for not lowering myself to just any old job and striving to be better and have a place or work I am proud of? I thought I was shit hot at graphics and marketing, but I am doubting myself and it really hurts. This is not a pity party I just need to get my arse in gear.

I have been surrounded by inspiration all over the world and now I need to out those sources into practice, up my game, pay attention to the details and boss the shit out of my portfolio. I can do it. I just need to stay positive.

I am good at what I do. I have trained for years to hone my skills. I have worked in industry for over 4 years and in all honesty, I have smashed the ceiling my roles going above and beyond what is expected. I am good at what I do, no actually I am f*cking great.

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